History of Roman Empire for Dummies from Dummy

Funding of Rome

The entire world uses Latin letters. Half of the world speaks Latin-based languages. Their art inspired the renaissance. Most of their scientific discoveries either lived too long or are still used as axioms.

During the Roman Empire, most of the civilized world was included within their borders. Pax Romana (the roman world) was the first example of globalization.

The period of Kings (753 BC-509 BC)

Before Rome was the capital of Italy and half of the civilized world, it was a small tribe village near the river Tiber. The tribe was surrounded by Etruscan up north, whose letters Rome adopted, and by Greece colonies in the South.

Did you guess where I am going? Etruscans and Greeks traded, so did it happen Rome was in the middle between them? Thus, Rome was founded on trading paths.

Originally Rome was open to all kinds of people, and most of all, the policy of Rome allowed Immigrants to become citizens with full rights.

This offer was time limited. However, it let Rome become one of the largest cities in ancient times.

There is a beautiful legend about to brothers Romulus and Remus, who were raised by a wolf, and then one brother killed another and funded Rome. Romantic. Oh, Romans also thought that they were the refugees from Troy. Let’s remember the name Romulus for a long punchline, though.

Romulus was the first King. Yes, Rome was not a Republic from the beginning. Overall, based on legend, there were seven kings. They ruled long and gave Romans something extraordinary:

  • calendar
  •  aqueducts
  •  sewage
  •  bunch of temples

And Guess what? Just like the language that we all pay credit for to Romans, all of those awesome things they are famous for – Rome stole from Etruscans.

On the other hand, there were no patents back then, so… 

Also, very possible most of their kings were Etruscans.

Why did the Kings stop ruling Rome? Because one of them could not keep his stuff in his pants. Literally. The son of the last King, Lucius Tarquinius Superbus, was in the middle of a sex scandal when he harassed a girl named Lucrecia. The King’s family and himself were banished from Rome.

Republican Rome (510-31 BC)

After that nonsense, Romans decided to limit the amount of power on one’s hands. Since then, two consuls were selected to rule Rome just for one year.

The consuls were controlled by the senate (300 fathers). Fathers could only come to form suitable families. If you are not from the right family, you are plebs, and plebs have no play in the government organization.

Plebs have been fighting for their rights for 200 years, and they were dangerous people. Why? Because plebs were 99% of the army. Eventually, Plebs got the rights in the senate. Also, the first laws were published on paper. Dura lex. Sed Lex (The law is harsh, but it is a law).

During the Republic phase, Rome also started the expansion. But started it because Rome was destroyed. In BC 390, Gauls invaded Rome unexpectedly. The guard dogs did not feel the danger, and Gauls came through to the Capitolium. There, the geese woke up the last guards, and Rome was saved. Partially. The dogs, due to their failure, were crucified every year.

Rome decided to learn from its mistakes and reformed the army. The legion was divided into maniples which made the army more mobile.

After the reformation, the army spends hundreds of years on the battlefields absorbing all territories around them, uniting Italy. Instead of unbearably taxing the neighbors they absorbed, Rome made union pacts in order to keep the country together and yet get sources for their army – money, and recruits.

After uniting Italy, the Roman army met a serious opponent in the face of Carthage. Punic wars took over a hundred years to win.

Same time as the Punic wars, Rome expanded to the East, and Greece became a part of the Roman Empire, bringing philosophy, language, and art to the table.

At this point, with so many territories joined to the Roman Empire, the limited offer ended. The only people with rights on this land are the Romans from Rome.

However, remembering the statement above – the lands are a great resource of recruits. Recruits make the army. The army is power. In time, all the territories would get the same rights as Rome. And this is the fundament of the Empire.

After Rome was united, the Roman Empire experienced the disadvantages of globalization:

  • small “businesses” (farms) are suffering
  •  the exploitation of the cheap labor market (enslaved people)
  •  cities are overcrowded
  •  the difference between poor and rich increases drastically
  •  increasing resources consumption

Any pro-social movements were immediately punished by the senate, and people rais against the government – a civil war on its basics.

The generals offered their recruits to provide land after several years of serving. Thus, the army became loyal to a general, not Rome or the senate.

Plenty of great warriors expanded Rome even further east and north; however, on their return to Rome, they would march to their triumph or ovation and then let their army go.

Julius Cesar decided not to listen to the senate. He fought other roman legions and won.

Once Julius Cesar entered Rome, he consolidated all the possible power in his hands, and this made many people nervous. The rumor went – he wanted to become a King. Senate decided – only over his dead body and made his body dead.

Guy Octavian August became his heir, and he was able to win against Mark Octavian.

Imperial Rome (31 BC-AD 476)

Guy Octavian August became an emperor for 43 years. Technically, Republic still existed. However, he made sure that all possible titles belonged to him, making his power absolute. However, humbly he named himself Princeps – first senator. Technicality.

Finally, Rome is at peace. for long 200 years – Pax Romana (roman peace)

Peacetime is the time economy grows, art and science are at their golden age, but people are still unhappy. Are they ever?

After August, the power started to be passed based on family connections, not the voting of the senate:

→August→Tiberius (killed people because they “do not respect him enough”)→Caligula (wanted to make his horse a senator)→Claudius(did not care for anything but food and feasts)→Nero(psychopathic poet)

Now, the particular unit, the emperor’s guards, decided who would rule and how the country would function. No more public speeches and debates.

During the ruling of mentally unstable emperors, the roman Empire was growing to the lands of Britain, North Africa, and Jerusalem)

The following century was named the century of five Good emperors after the Flavian dynasty, which was one dynasty of good people. Who performed genocide the Jerusalem and made sure all people paid taxes for the fact they existed, but good people.

During the first good emperor trojan reign, the Roman Empire was the largest of its size. Rome had over million people in it. Also, during his reign, the roman Empire was connected by the roads that are still being used in most of Europe.

The last of the Good emperors, Marcus Aurelius, spent most of his time in battles, and in his free time, he wrote the manifest of stoic philosophy – Meditations.

After Marcus’ death, Pax Romana ended. Why, Because his son, Lucius, decided to be a Gladiator while being an emperor. In other words, he never cared for the Empire and its administration. During one of the fights, Rome was swollen by chaos.

In the next 100 years, the emperors were put on the throne by the army and also quickly removed by it—random people, from felons to formerly enslaved people.

In the third century, Rome was in a crisis at the level of catastrophe. The whole province separated from Rome, and Empire did not have the resources and an army to prevent it.

Diocletian, who came from a low-status family, made his way up from the soldier. He became emperor in 284 and divided the Empire into four parts with four capitals and assigned the ruler to each of them. Rome lost its importance. Senate became a city council. Now, the country was ruled by bureaucrats reported to the emperor.

This was the end of the ancient world. The free citizen rights were no longer supported, and the relationships became more of the owner → slave. Emperor, from Princeps, became a dominus, citizen became a subject, the warrior became a soldier, the farmer became a serf. This was the beginning of medieval feudal times.

After Decliotian renounced his power, the rulers from 4 different parts of the Empire started fighting for it. Constantine won that battle and adopted Christianity (another romantic legend about how he saw a cross, but more than likely, he did it because of the logic “One god – one king”). He founded the new capital of the Roman Empire – Constantinople. Theodosius I made Christianity official less than a hundred years later. He was the last emperor of the united roman Empire.

After him, the East and west roman Empires were co-ruled. Byzantine, the east Empire, will survive for another 1000 years. West Empire was a victim of the Migration Period.

Rome, funded by immigrants, would be destroyed because of the new wave of immigration. And now promised punchline. The last emperor of the west Roman Empire was – Romulus.

Conclusion

Now, you will ask me. You do not do any political/social research on Roman Empire. You focus on Slavs and their surroundings. Why start now?

When Ioan III, Moskow Prince, was ruling young Russia, Constantinople had fallen. Russia was the most robust Orthodox Christian government and, due to that, absorbed the idea that Russia was a Successor of Byzantine.

Philotheus of Pskov (hegumen) formulated the following prophecy during that time: Moscow, third Rome. The Forth shall never come.

The Roman Empire existed for over a thousand years. So did Byzantine. Russian clock is approaching its ugly end, and I am hoping the cycle will break and the fourth Rome will never come.

References:

Prof. Smorchkov. Arzamas history podcast. 2017

A. Goldsworthy. “How the Rome fell.” 2009

Nigel Rodgers. “The history and conquests of Ancient Rome.” 2011

Golubinski E. “History of the Russian church.” 1900

World History encyclopedia. https://www.worldhistory.org/timeline/Rome/

C. Nicolet. Space, geography, and politics in the early Roman Empire. 1991

Published by Helga_Phoenix

History reenactor, larper, artist

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